Friday, May 18, 2012

Thanks, Cupid, but your arrow missed.

I think I've sworn off on-line dating at least four times. When I get bored, I go back on and if I see someone interesting I might repost my profile. Might. Okay, I usually do. This just happened recently and I'm already considering taking my profile back down. I tried a new site this time, mostly because it was free. My initial searches found quite the variety of guys. This, I suppose could be a good thing, though it depends on the variety. There were enough guys, including two that I've dated (one of which I adore), that it kept my interest for longer than five minutes, and so I continue. I even go so far as to set up a profile, complete with picture and two of the seventeen questions answered. 

For the first couple of days, it's fun. Emails arrive letting you know that someone is "checking you out," or that someone has "chosen you" (Does this sound sacrificial to anyone else?), or the big one -- so-and-so has messaged you. I get the "message" email and check it out. There are a few. The first couple don't look too interesting. The third I respond to. His profile comments are clever and interesting, he's good looking, and single. My standards have really sky-rocketed, haven't they? Here is a brief overview of the "conversation" that took place over a couple of days. 

Boy: "Hi, I like your smile. It looks like we have some things in common. Want to hang out sometime?"

Me: "Hi there, Thanks! I like your picture of you in (insert vacation destination here). I would definitely be up for meeting. What do you like to do?"

Boy: "Great! How about we (activity), (activity), (activity), or (activity)? Does Friday around 7PM work?" (This is all taking place on Thursday, by the way.)

Boy: "Or Saturday works too."

Boy: "What do you think?"

Yes, this is a series of three separate emails from a guy I don't know. 

Me: "Sorry! (Lame, but valid, apology) This weekend is already kind of packed. I have blah, blah, blah, blah. What does next week look like for you?"

Boy: "No problem. I understand. Good luck and have a good weekend."

Well, I guess that's the end of that. Activate messages, goodie! Open next message. Slam computer screen after screaming in surprise. Ron Jeremy would have been proud of this guy's profile picture. Message deleted. Next, guy old enough to be my father. Thanks, but I don't have daddy issues. Delete. Next, face tattoos. Log-off.

You can't say I didn't try. You can say my heart wasn't in it, it wasn't. Looks like it's back to set-ups by family and friends and getting hit on in the check out line at Fred Meyer. Maybe I take up the bar scene again. Yes, I was laughing as I wrote that. Or maybe I just go get some cats and start smudging red lipstick on one of my front teeth. On-line dating, we're through. 

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