There is a common belief that you can tell a lot about a person within the first six minutes of meeting him. Chemistry, compatibility, connection and all of those other ideas that we look for in a partner are supposedly apparent within those precious 360 seconds. Who knew it was that easy to meet someone that could possibly be the love of your life?
I walk in to the tavern hoping to see my friend quickly so that I'm not all by myself. She is standing at the bar, beer already in one hand and a bingo card in the other. I am instantly struck with the realization that I am about to play one of the torturous ice breakers I make my students play during the first week of school. Sure enough the coordinator of the event, lets call her Heather, yells my name, plants a name tag on my shoulder, and hands me my very own bingo card. Right off the bat I notice that Heather is not wearing an engagement or wedding ring. A little ironic that the coordinator of a speed dating event is not obviously otherwise engaged. I know this is a bit presumptuous but I can't help being a little cynical. Almost thirty, still single and surrounded by friends who have found and claimed their better halves.
I quickly saddle up to the bar to calm the butterflies that have surprisingly developed in my stomach. A few minutes later, I'm happily sipping on a vodka and soda with lime trying to find someone who has a bell or basket on their bike. This is Portland, Oregon for God's sake, there has to be someone! As I slowly branch out from my friend to find more people to fill in my bingo card, I begin taking notice of the people who are around me. We range in age from twenty-eight to thirty-nine and are all looking for someone. It is a little comforting, calming and even a little upsetting.
We are ushered into a sectioned off area of the tavern and Heather begins welcoming all of us to her event. She is brimming with enthusiasm and peppiness; I have to stop myself from laughing a few times. Each person is given a score card, the bottom half for note taking while the top is going to be given to Heather with our choices. The ladies are told to go to their assigned table and wait for their first dates to arrive. When I see my table, I am happy. While most of the other women are seated at regular tables next to each other, my table is in a kind of wooden bee hive complete with open spots conveniently located so I could turn and see how my friend was doing after each six minute date.
Date #1
Sam* sits down and is exuding nervous energy. I put out my hand, introductions are made and the small talk begins.
"Is this your first time doing this?" I ask.
"Second time actually."
"Are you from Portland originally?"
"Yes, born and raised. Then went to school in Eugene."
"Me too! U of O?"
The small talk continues and the bell rings. "Wow six minutes goes fast! Nice to meet you, Sam."
I flip the status card over to "NOT READY" and write down information about "Sam".
Rating: No thanks
Date #2
Michael* takes a seat, and introductions are made. Almost instantly, Michael reaches for the suggested questions and asks, "So, do you like to travel?" Small talk, uncomfortable silence, small talk, and the bell rings. "It was really nice to meet you Michael. Have fun!"
Rating: No thanks
Date #3
George* pokes his head in the bee hive, smiles and sits down. With a thick Indian accent, George begins to question, starting with, "What do you do?" Blah, blah, blah...Six minutes and nothing except for a nice man who laughs after every statement.
Rating: No thanks
Date #4
Kyle* enters the bee hive with the red "NOT READY" sign still on the table. He smiles, nervously laughs, and backs out like a little kid who has just seen Santa putting presents under the tree. I turn the card over and Kyle comes back in. He sits down and writes my name on his card. His forehead is a little sweaty and he looks nervous. Kyle smiles, looks down at the table, looks back up and begins to tell me about the first time he went speed dating. At the request of a friend, he attended an event, even though his girlfriend, yes his girlfriend, asked him not to.
Rating: No thanks
Date #5
John*---that's enough to know...I've dated too many men named John.
Rating: No thanks
BREAK TIME: As I'm waiting for my second vodka and soda with lime I have realized that I am able to picture all of these guys as awkward middle school students. I suddenly start feeling very sorry some of them...I've seen younger versions of each of them in my classroom.
Date #6
Patrick* is a very nice, non-golfer who works for a golf company. Six seconds and I know there is nothing there.
Rating: No thanks
Date #7
Ryan* looks like a 35 year old frat boy.
Rating: No thanks
Date #8
I'm getting tired when a gay straight man boisterously enters the bee hive, tilts his head, and introduces himself. We soon learn that we are both teachers and instantly have something to talk about--just in time for the bell to ring.
Rating: No thanks
Date #9
Robert* is one of the older men in attendance. I actually find him interesting with a story to tell. A minute before time is up he starts to tell me about his time in Africa at the beginning of a civil war. Finally someone who has left the country and done something worthwhile!
Rating: Let's talk again -- if nothing else I want to hear more about Africa!
Date #10
My final date takes a seat. He is a pilot who has been furloughed and is making the leap to fall back career. Like my history with men named John, I have a history with pilots. Seriously not sure what my deal is with these themes.
Rating: Let's talk again -- old habits die hard
Heather does a final bell ring, promises to have our matches up by the time we wake up in the morning, and as we file out I hand her the top half of my score sheet. She is so excited about everything it is almost disgusting. I meet my friend at the bar, close out my tab, we walk around the corner and start laughing about the evening.
Sixty minutes of 10 first dates, two vodka and sodas and one more item checked off my 30 x 30 list.
*Names changed
