Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Use or Sell by: (insert date)

I'm currently taking a class that is supposed to help you focus on the patterns that make you successful, and learn how to apply those ideas to all areas of your life. It has been surprising to see the that there are obvious patterns and connections between my personality and successes. I feel successful when things are simple and organized. Hmmm...why doesn't this follow into all areas of my life?

I think it is natural that when you are examining your successes that you also examine your failures. Shockingly, I zeroed in on my past relationships. Rarely, have they been simple and organized. The patterns that have showed up ever since college are generally chaotic, sporadic, and short. My first relationship (when I was in college...yes, I was a late bloomer) is still the most simple (It was, at least, while we were dating.) and longest lasting. I don't know what made it this way, but until we broke up, it always seemed easy. Maybe at that point we were still young enough to not have the baggage or experience that makes this stupid dating thing so complicated and frustrating. Ignorance is bliss...

Over the weekend, I was talking to a friend about dating. She mentioned that she feels comfortable talking to me about our dating lives (or lack thereof) because we seem to have similar experiences. The best example she gave was that we both seem to be the girl that is interesting/attractive enough to get asked out on the second date or get a second glance. After that second date, or as I'm now finding second month, the guy changes his mind and is gone.

This is not meant to be a "poor me" sort of post, but I do find some definite patterns in my "relationships" from the last few years. There is always something chaotic in one of our lives. It is the first relationship for a former drug dealer turned venture capitalist since serving at a federal work camp. I am really interested in someone else and so not completely invested in getting to know the person. He is just getting out of a complicated and/or long-term relationship. Maybe sometimes it is simple, we realize we just don't work together.

They also seem to last no longer than two to three months, usually the earlier. It's almost as though the universe issues a two month expiration date when I begin dating someone. I am apparently best used by or sold by (insert date two months after dating begins). What is it about two months that seems to be a turning point in a romantic relationship? Is it just enough time to get to know another person and foresee it going somewhere, or not? Is it just long enough for a person's quirks to surface? Or is it just coincidence?

Whatever it is, I feel as though I should come with a date stamped across my forehead as a warning to those give a second glance. Wouldn't that be great? Hmmm, something to consider. Positive or negative patterns, successes and failures. Life would be boring without those combinations. Sometimes, though, I wouldn't mind the combinations to separate and just let the positive reign for a bit.

1 comment:

  1. So much to report since this conversation. And your most recent post rang true too. I want to hear more about this course!