Every so often, I'll start dating a new guy and am overcome with a feeling of de ja vous. No, it's not that I've unknowingly dated a guy twice. I've had some do-over relationships but always with a full and clear knowledge of who I am getting involved with. Still, that creepy, been-here-done-that feeling sneaks in, and, instead of taking it as a warning, I suppress it and fall hard.
Over the last ten years, I have dated my fair share of men. Some have had similar jobs. Some have had similar cars. Some have even had the same name. When I met and started seeing the sixth John, a friend of mine threatened to sing "Henry the Eighth I Am," but replace Henry with John. These are all benign trends.
They usually begin the same way. The first couple of dates are amazing and I go home thinking, "Wow, I've finally met a normal guy!" That should be my first clue that something is not right. From there on out, I can tell that something is not quite right, but can't seem to grow the cajones necessary to ask about it or just stop dating the guy. Eventually, it ends and I find the next Mr. Needs to Be Fixed.
After a recent relationship ended, I was talking to a friend, a little baffled at what had happened. Mid-discussion, I had a bit of an epiphany. Since college, almost EVERY guy I have had a significant relationship with has had a past major trauma in his life. From messy parent divorces to drug addiction to drug dealing to being cheated on, I've tried to be the girl to fix the broken man. I am that girl who attracts the wrong men. Now, I am not without my own faults and baggage, and not every guy has had issues, but, good night, how does this happen? I'm the girl that bad romantic comedies are based around.
What an amazing accomplishment it would be to be the girl with whom he settles down and gets his life together! While I haven't ever consciously made the decision to try and fix someone, somehow it seems to seep into my pheromones and attract these men. How does this happen? Is it possible to subconsciously follow trends?
Perhaps trend-follower is the wrong term. Maybe magnet is more suitable to the situation. I understand that magnetism is a scientific concept, but I may have to find a way to defy science. Here's to beating science, trends, bad choices, ignoring gut feelings, and not being the girl in the movies! Wish me luck; I have a date on Thursday and he has an awesome name.
